Strong and spirited. You're no one's girly girl; actually you are very determined person with a strong sense of self. Never let go of that! The only thing that equals your sense of self is your family, but the traditions of society can always be bent to protect something or someone you love.
This picture is from when it all started...
I've decided to be a copy cat and post a little about Adam, since our 8th wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Cinco de Mayo. People have recently blogged about their hubbies because of their anniversaries, so I guess I will be a sheep.
Married life has been crazy. Lot's of ups and downs, but what I saw is what I got with Adam and that is the beauty of our relationship. We are both very honest and open with each other, much to my mother's horror at times, but it works for us. He is and has always been a very motivated, driven guy, which, for those who know me well, is quite the opposite of me and so that is why I love that quality about him. He also puts up with my bi polar personality, which is a miracle in and of itself, and which I very much love him for as well.
I have decided as far as parenting goes, he is the one who teaches our kids hard work and sacrifice, while I teach the kids to have fun and let loose. Both very important lessons for everyone. I love that he teaches the kids about real life and what is required of them, because I am too lazy to do that. Our life would consist of fun, fun, fun if it weren't for him and I thank him for that. He is a wonderful Dad and loves his children very much, and I love him for that.
He is also quite the charmer, and has the girls at my work in like. And he has such a funny sense of humor. Because we have been married so long, it doesn't always show up, but when we are around friends or family, he has us in stitches and i LOVE that.
So, without going on and on, I am truly blessed to be married to such a wonderful and difficult guy and I am thankful that he feels lucky to be married to me as well. I know this isn't very sappy, but we aren't a very sappy, emotional couple, so this works. Even though, I want him to know that I love him with all my heart and look forward to the future and being together forever, through good times and bad. Love you, Adam.
Just wanted to say a little about our recent getaway. We got to go to Florence for the last weekend in April and it was great! Adam had done some work for family friends who own a house over there and their pay back was letting us use their beach house. It was fairly close to Driftwood Shores so we could walk down. We got there Friday afternoon and got food for the weekend, then went to the beach for a little bit. Then went to the house and crashed for the night. On Saturday, we got up early and I tried to run on the beach but wasn't into it, so we just spent a couple hours hanging out and looking for shells. Then went back to the house and chilled for a little. We went to Old Town Florence and walked around, then ate lunch at Moe's. After that, we spent all afternoon at the beach. It was warm and not very windy, so it was perfect. The kids got soaked in the waves and even Garrett was playing in the water. He was relentless. And Emma would have started surfing if we had let her. She wanted to play in the water all day. The kids and dog of course were soaked, so back to the house for warm baths and bbq steak for dinner and then to bed. There was sand everywhere and I am not a fan at all!
On Sunday we hung out at the house for awhile while Ad did homework, and then we took a nature stroll to some dunes and just let the kids play in the sand. No water today. Then we packed up and left and came home to a nice sunny day. It was a nice, relaxing trip which was much needed with our crazy life. Wish we had more time and money to do it more often. I'm just thankful it worked out and especially that the weather was so nice. You and me both know that is a rarity.
The cute girls in the water having a blast!
Garrett being all shy and sandy.
He didn't like the water at first, but then went in no qualms.
This picture is from a birthday party we went to at Skateworld. It was shaping up to be a bad night as far as Emma was concerned, but she relaxed and let loose. Natalie was a pro and had a great time.
This next section I call "Turning lemons into lemonade". We didn't have a lot of free time during Spring Break, so we wanted to do something really fun. Aaron and Teanna were down staying with us, and we all decided it would be fun to go up to Portland to take the kids to OMSI and the Zoo. Well, the weather wasn't that great, so we decided to just go to OMSI. The morning that we were to head up, Adam had to go to school to get his books, and he had a job measure to do, so by the time we all got ready to go, it was about 11:30am. We had to stop in Salem to drop of Teanna's dog, and it was lunch time, so we had to have time for lunch. OMSI was only open till 5, and we still had to drive up to Portland. Anyways, Adam and I thought that would be a waste of money because we wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time, so I thought we should go to the Oregon Garden and hike Silver Falls. No one was real keen on that idea, but it was the best use of our time and money, and they weather wasn't too wet, so we ventured out.
Now the Lemonade part. It was chilly, but so beautiful!!! Plus, the kids could run around all over and we didn't have to worry much about them. They thought it was great, and they didn't know what they were missing. We got to see some really cool things, and get lots of fun pictures. It was a no stress kind of activity. So I was glad that we decided to do that, and we will get another chance to go to OMSI. Afterwards, we went up to Portland to get some clothes, go to Deseret bookstore (where I bought Twilight by the way, and am on the 3rd book now), and went to Chevy's for dinner. Afterwards, Natalie and Kyla went with Aaron and Teanna to stay the night, and when we went to Adam's folks to pick up Pepper, they invited Emma to stay the night with them. So we ended up with one kid for the night, and that was fun. Plus the girls were jazzed to be staying the night elsewhere. All in all, it turned out to be a great time. I'm glad we didn't just get discouraged.
Natalie in the bunny tunnel at the Oregon Garden. One of the fun activities in the kid's garden area.
Garrett digging up a dinosaur skeleton. This was so fun!
The kids in the spooky, dark woods. This was so cool. It reminded me of some fairytale movie with the dark,dense woods that they scaries live in.
The girls enjoying each other and burning energy at the same time.
Cute picture of Kyla and Natalie when the got to stay the night with Uncle Aaron and Aunt Teanna. We call these two the twins cause they look alike, and are alike.
It's time to update, so we'll start with Easter. I was a bit of a scatter brain this year, and didn't charge the batteries in my video camera, or digital. So I don't have video of the kids looking for eggs, and i don't have pictures of the kids in their Easter best. What kind of sorry excuse for a mother am I? But i did get a few. We had Easter at our house, with Adam's family. Church of course was amazing. Really set the tone for the day. It was a pretty relaxed day, although I felt like I was cleaning and cooking and cleaning again all day. We invited some ladies that live across the street that I visit teach, over for dinner. After our scrumptious dinner, everyone wanted to play *gasp!* Guitar Hero. So I was a little baffled by that, but I let them anyway. So if they had fun, that's all that matters. And by the way, my daughter Emma put me to shame about that one. One day she asked me why we played Guitar Hero on Sunday, and I said because people wanted to. She countered me and said "You should tell them no!". What an amazing lesson that was. I love the innocence of youth.
Oh, and another funny thing that happened that shows my motherly incompetence, I didn't have time to hide eggs or fill eggs. The kids were lucky they got Easter baskets. Anyway, the day dragged on and the kids were constantly asking "When is the Easter Bunny coming?" And we were constantly reminding them "He works all day and just hasn't been to our house yet, and that is not the real reason we celebrate Easter anyway!!!"
So, finally after dinner, I sneak out with my bro-in-law Anthony and we hide eggs all over. By this time it is almost dark. Pathetic, I know. But the kids didn't seem to mind as long as they found all the eggs. And after it was all done, Emma says again "Why did the Easter Bunny come so late?" I give up!
The girls decorating eggs (duh)
Garrett getting into his stash!
All the Easter loot from the Easter bunny.
Brynne and I playing Family Fued, after we
played Guitar Hero.
What a different title from my last one, eh? I wanted to thank all my WONDERFUL friends and family for their uplifting and sincere comments. I really appreciate all you had to say and your own experiences help out. I was crying while I was reading.
I wanted to let everyone know that I am much better now, thanks. Next time I will vent to the wall so no one has to see what a lunatic I am, besides my hubby.
I am still stressed about our current situation, but I am not dwelling on it like I was. The day after my rough one, I prayed real hard to be calm with my kids, and I had a moment when I was holding Natalie and looking at her in the mirror by my face, and thought "I am the luckiest woman. Look at this beautiful child that is mine to keep!" It was a very spiritual moment for me. I then went up and hugged and kissed Emma and kept telling them how much I loved them. I've decided that above anything I teach my kids, I want them to know for a surety that I love them and that Heavenly Father and Jesus love them. That is it! I need to quit stressing about the small things they do, and make sure they know how much they are loved.
Today we had wonderful lessons in church. First was realying on the scriptures to hear God speaking to you. I had a great night the other night reading them, and that rang so true. Then we learned about being grateful for everything and boy did I need that lesson after this last week. I want to say that I am truely thankful for the small struggles that we are having, because they are not as important as I think, and everything will fall into place how it is supposed to, and in the Lord's time. Thanks for that one Amber! The Lord knows what we need and as long as we are good and faithful, he will bless us. Period. Life is such a blessing and a gift and I need to be thankful for it each and every day. May God bless everyone's lives as much as He has blessed mine.
I am writing this now mostly to vent and get things off my chest, not necessarily to have others read it. But I am hoping by writing this, I won't be alone in my feelings and that others can relate and tell me that. And some may be asking, then why write here? I don't have a journal, so that is that.
Today was a rough day for me. I felt like a lousy, horrible mother. All I did was scream and the kids and want them out of my sight. Natalie spent all day in time out it seemed. It was one of those days with your kids that you would be happy to have a kid sale out on the lawn, but then give them away to the first taker. Of course I would never, never do such a thing, but it doesn't mean I don't dream. I love my kids more than anything in the whole world, and when I feel so happy, I am swallowed up in my joy with them. Then there are those days that I resent my life. I resent being a Mom, being married, having to sacrifice and work, when I would so rather do fun things with my family and get more time to myself. I get even less time with Adam in school because he tries to do homework, so I can't ever leave by myself. I feel like I have lost my identity. Nothing is mine anymore, not even my time alone, for it is spent doing things for others and trying to remember everything.
The other day Emma's teacher came up to me and asked me what happened to her library book, because it was all warped. I looked at her in awe, thinking, "how do you expect me to be responsible for every little thing?" It is Emma's book that she can be responsible for. I can't keep track of everything!!!!! I can't keep track of my head some days!
Trying to fit in time to work out anymore has been a joke. I work late, Adam gets up early and is gone all day. Plus is rains so dang much here, you can't do much of anything. Then on mornings Adam says he has to leave early, so I don't plan on getting up, he sleeps in and I could have fit something in. My family makes me so batty sometimes!!!!
Finance has been a major stress. We have gone through so much with trying to sell our pieces of property, to no avail. We thought our lot was going to be a final sale next week, but Adam just told me tonight that the VA, who is approving the guy for a loan, wants us to fork out 10,000 dollars for permits! Bull@#^! They say they will pay us back, but no way am I agreeing to that.
Our house still isn't selling. I know there must be a reason, but it is hard to have faith that there is a reason for things sometimes. It has been a real struggle lately for me. I know the Lord has a plan for us, but I feel like I've done my part in relying on him and still not knowing why things aren't happening for us. To know that we have a way to get out of our financial difficulties, but not to have anything selling for it to happen, has been very trying for me.
I am sorry that I am going on and on, I just thought it might make me feel better to get out my frustrations through writing, but I don't feel any better. If anyone cares to talk to me, and let me know I am not the only horrible, worthless, negative, faithless mom and woman in the world, it would mean the world to me.
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