I am truely grateful!

What a different title from my last one, eh? I wanted to thank all my WONDERFUL friends and family for their uplifting and sincere comments. I really appreciate all you had to say and your own experiences help out. I was crying while I was reading.
I wanted to let everyone know that I am much better now, thanks. Next time I will vent to the wall so no one has to see what a lunatic I am, besides my hubby.
I am still stressed about our current situation, but I am not dwelling on it like I was. The day after my rough one, I prayed real hard to be calm with my kids, and I had a moment when I was holding Natalie and looking at her in the mirror by my face, and thought "I am the luckiest woman. Look at this beautiful child that is mine to keep!" It was a very spiritual moment for me. I then went up and hugged and kissed Emma and kept telling them how much I loved them. I've decided that above anything I teach my kids, I want them to know for a surety that I love them and that Heavenly Father and Jesus love them. That is it! I need to quit stressing about the small things they do, and make sure they know how much they are loved.
Today we had wonderful lessons in church. First was realying on the scriptures to hear God speaking to you. I had a great night the other night reading them, and that rang so true. Then we learned about being grateful for everything and boy did I need that lesson after this last week. I want to say that I am truely thankful for the small struggles that we are having, because they are not as important as I think, and everything will fall into place how it is supposed to, and in the Lord's time. Thanks for that one Amber! The Lord knows what we need and as long as we are good and faithful, he will bless us. Period. Life is such a blessing and a gift and I need to be thankful for it each and every day. May God bless everyone's lives as much as He has blessed mine.

Life sucks sometimes

I am writing this now mostly to vent and get things off my chest, not necessarily to have others read it. But I am hoping by writing this, I won't be alone in my feelings and that others can relate and tell me that. And some may be asking, then why write here? I don't have a journal, so that is that.
Today was a rough day for me. I felt like a lousy, horrible mother. All I did was scream and the kids and want them out of my sight. Natalie spent all day in time out it seemed. It was one of those days with your kids that you would be happy to have a kid sale out on the lawn, but then give them away to the first taker. Of course I would never, never do such a thing, but it doesn't mean I don't dream. I love my kids more than anything in the whole world, and when I feel so happy, I am swallowed up in my joy with them. Then there are those days that I resent my life. I resent being a Mom, being married, having to sacrifice and work, when I would so rather do fun things with my family and get more time to myself. I get even less time with Adam in school because he tries to do homework, so I can't ever leave by myself. I feel like I have lost my identity. Nothing is mine anymore, not even my time alone, for it is spent doing things for others and trying to remember everything.
The other day Emma's teacher came up to me and asked me what happened to her library book, because it was all warped. I looked at her in awe, thinking, "how do you expect me to be responsible for every little thing?" It is Emma's book that she can be responsible for. I can't keep track of everything!!!!! I can't keep track of my head some days!
Trying to fit in time to work out anymore has been a joke. I work late, Adam gets up early and is gone all day. Plus is rains so dang much here, you can't do much of anything. Then on mornings Adam says he has to leave early, so I don't plan on getting up, he sleeps in and I could have fit something in. My family makes me so batty sometimes!!!!
Finance has been a major stress. We have gone through so much with trying to sell our pieces of property, to no avail. We thought our lot was going to be a final sale next week, but Adam just told me tonight that the VA, who is approving the guy for a loan, wants us to fork out 10,000 dollars for permits! Bull@#^! They say they will pay us back, but no way am I agreeing to that.
Our house still isn't selling. I know there must be a reason, but it is hard to have faith that there is a reason for things sometimes. It has been a real struggle lately for me. I know the Lord has a plan for us, but I feel like I've done my part in relying on him and still not knowing why things aren't happening for us. To know that we have a way to get out of our financial difficulties, but not to have anything selling for it to happen, has been very trying for me.
I am sorry that I am going on and on, I just thought it might make me feel better to get out my frustrations through writing, but I don't feel any better. If anyone cares to talk to me, and let me know I am not the only horrible, worthless, negative, faithless mom and woman in the world, it would mean the world to me.

Thanks for the boost! And the latest with us.

I wanted to start out thanking everyone for their comments on my last post. It makes me rethink my no more blogging, thus I am doing it right now. I just was getting really bummed because I would spend all this time, and I wouldn't get too many comments, so I didn't think anyone was really even looking at it. So, thank you for the boost and I will do my best to be a better blogger, but I better get comment galore if you want me to continue. Yes, that is a threat. I have returned! I'm lame so I am moving on...

I took the kids up to Salem on President's day to hang out with my sister and go to that fun play place she told me about. Well, she didn't stay long because Cade was having a hard time, so she took him home to nap, and I was left there with 4 kids (I invited my niece to go-she's 4- and I am not mad that you left, Brynne, so don't think that is what I am saying) to keep track of by myself. It was a mad house of people, but the kids had fun and that is what mattered the most. Luckily, my sister in law showed up to hang out, or I would have had myself committed that day. I needed a nap desperately!


A few weeks ago, we got major snow. It was cool because it was the weekend of my mom's wedding, so lots of family were snowed in and had to hang out. Grandpa wanted to leave and brave the weather, but Grandma refused and of course she won. She always does. But it was nice to spend more time with them. I had to work that Sunday because I had taken my sat. off for Mom's wedding, and that turned out great because it snowed so much that day, that my clinic closed early, so I was home by 1, when I would have been home by 6. I was one happy girl. Then on Monday, of course school was canceled, which was nice. The snow cleared up and was mostly slush. Emma got a raw deal, or maybe it was mostly me, but the had late start the next two days with am Kindergarten canceled, and she then had thurs and friday off for some teacher inservice. So, she missed a whole week of school, and for basically nothing, might I add. Because the roads were clear both days that they canceled Kindergarten. We are a bunch of wienies here in Oregon.

Brynne and Emma make a snowman!
Oh, and I forgot to mention the fun we had playing in the snow. After Brynne and Emma's snowwoman collapsed, Emma and I made a big one that we poured blue and red water on that Mom had mixed up, and he was awesome. Looked like he was bleeding profusely, but he was fun. And of course we had snowball fights and Brynne and Emma kicked my rear at those, but I tackled Brynne and kicked her butt. It was hilarious. I was smashing her face in the snow. It sounds more violent than it actually was, cause we were both laughing our heads off. It was really fun!

We also just put our house back on the market again. We put it up on Feb 11, and have an offer right now. There are some stipulations we have to work through, but it is a serious buyer who lives in our neighborhood and has always noticed our house. They even wrote us a letter and included a picture of their family. They were interested when we first put it up, but now that it is cheaper, they decided to make a move. So we will see what ends up happening, but it is looking very good.
And lastly, my sister dared us to share a secret crush. Mine might not be much of a secret, but there are some of you who don't know. I think David Beckham is one hot brit. I don't know much about his personality, but the guy is a stud soccer player, and is gorgeous! What more could you ask for? So, there you go Brynne. Hope you are happy cause Adam's not! Oh, and he is even better looking right now because Adam is being a butthead.
There you have it! All the latest with me!

Mom's wedding

So, my mother got married on Jan. 26th to her long time beau, Gary, and it was a wonderful event. It started with the engagement, of course, and then my sister and I planned a surprise bridal shower for her at Marie Callendars. I was the one having to pull off the surprise, and I was so nervous when I led her to our area. I thought she would see right through me. But she didn't,
and it was a success. We had daughters, granddaughters, daughter-in-laws, and a few friends join us. Most everyone got her gift cards or things for her home, but being the improper daughter, I had to get her some slinky slinks. So I did, and she was embarrassed, and quite frankly, so was I! But it was a fun time had by all.


Then, the big day came and it was great. Mom and Grandma set up everything by themselves, but I did the deviled eggs, and let me tell you, that is not an easy chore. Especially when you have just woken up, your stomache is a little queasy, and the eggs smell like someone just used the bathroom with an upset stomach of their own. But, it went well, there were quite a few people there supporting both Mom and Gary's sides; friends and family from out of town. It was short and sweet, and then we chowed and danced to our little hearts delights.



They also cut their delicious and adorable wedding cake. Notice the black space in my mom's smile. That is a missing tooth. Yes, my mother was part sophisticated lady, part WT that day, but boy was she beautiful.


And now they are on their cruise, enjoying way more than I care to think about, and hopefully having the best time! Congratulations Mom & Gary! To the continuation of a fun, caring, and happy relationship that is now legalized! To the happy couple! Cheers!

The joys of motherhood

Oh, the joys of motherhood. Let me count the ways. It is now 12:15am and I have a little boy who has been crying all night and will not go to sleep. He is obviously tired, because he is wallering all over a pillow on the floor, but the stinker won't settle down. So, I am forced to update my blog because I am up anyways, like anyone will even read this because I swore I would never write a blog again. What can I say?
I also have a 3 and a half year old that won't stay out of her ballerina clothes and skirts for one minute. She never wants to leave the house because she doesn't want to take them off, so I have to promise her as soon as we get home she can put them back on. It is frustrating to say the least. I have a dog who would rather get drenced by the squirt bottle and put in her kennel than learn that she shouldn't go under the kitchen table while we are eating. And to those of you scratching your heads wondering when a dog became like one of my children, you just have never had a dog, because trust me, they are one of your children. You don't care as much for them, but you sure have to deal with them a lot.
But, on a lighter note, I am truely thankful for the beautiful blessing of motherhood and its many joys and heartaches. Because it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Is that how that goes?

Adam turns the big 30!

I am going to say this before anything else, this most likely will be my last post on this blog. It takes too much time to keep up on it, and I have a hard time even getting on the computer for just a little bit. I will keep it so I can check everyone else out when I get a chance, but I will still have my email, so I will keep in touch. Sorry! Moving on...

Adam turned 30 on Jan 3rd, so for his big 3-0, I thought it would be fun to take a little trip. So, in cohorts with a few couples that we are friends with, I rented a house in Charleston, near Coos Bay, and surprised him with a weekend of fun, friends, and relaxation. My sister watched the kids for us while we were gone and she did an awsome job. She had those kids earning rewards, and following rules.
The highlights included the awesome view we had, adam and his buds doing lots of crabbing, the amazing storms and huge waves, especially at Shore Acres State Park. The waves would crash into rocks and spray 100 ft in the air. We got soaked a couple times. The weather was pretty soggy, but it made for some great storm watching. We did some golfing, movie watching, reading, game playing. Everyone pitched in cooking meals so we had some great ones. We got some good lightening storms going on, scaring me sometimes.
It was a great weekend and I am sure will be a memorable birthday for him as well.


The long hike down to the beach.
Isn't this romantic?
The whole gang: Jared&Stacie Brewer, Eileen&Jamie Lowe, and us.
One of the two rainbows we got to enjoy.

The view from our kitchen, and every other window.
Adam and his friend Jared with their first catch.

What a holly, jolly Christmas.

We had a nice relaxing Christmas this year. We had Christmas Eve with my family, and Adam's side. Two different nights, or it wouldn't have happened. Everyone got spoiled, so we decided next year to go on a trip instead so we will actually remember our favorite Christmas gift. Below are some pictures from our holidays. Hope everyone felt the real meaning of Christmas this year, and that the birth,life, and death of our Savior is the most precious gift we have ever been given.
The Christmas PJ Squad
Emma's Favorite Gift
Look at all the cool toys!
Now Nattie can shop like Mommy!
Pepper, our sweet little puppy.
So, as you can tell, we got a dog for Christmas. She is a toy poodle and adorable. She rarely barks, won't really shed, and loves to sleep on our laps. She is so sweet. We really lucked out with her. The kids were ecstatic!